Monday, 02 October 2017 19:54

Thirty Seconds of Video

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A poem I wrote formed from free-writing, pulling the lines I liked, and shaping them into a poem...

Thirty Seconds of Video

I press record
Pretend the reason I'm recording you
Is not because you're dying.
But you're no fool
You just always put yourself second
And now I have a keepsake
I shall never watch.

But I don't need thirty seconds of video to remember you
Cyberman lookalike with your headphones on
In your blue jeans and white t-shirt
Baring what few teeth you have left
In a half-grimace smile.

I don't need thirty seconds of video to remember you
Saying "Hello, my darling!"
In that slightly creepy way
That was so adorable.
Goon Show fan to the end
In your head, you were Moriarty.

I don't need thirty seconds of video to remember you
Like a dog on a leash
Tied to a stump
Panting through a tube.

I don't need thirty seconds of video to remember you
How your love healed me
And how I couldn't return the favour.
How being starved of your love
Made me ache
For what was once on my plate.

I don't need thirty seconds of video to remember you
Dying alone when you'd always been there for me
Your head flung back
Your eyes startled.
What you saw in your last moments
I can never know.

I don't need thirty seconds of video to remember you
Alive in my dream
When nightmare and reality became intertwined
Interchanged
And preferring to sleep.

I don't need thirty seconds of video to remember you
The morning after you died
Drawing back the curtains
To let the light in.
Subsuming the agony in sunshine
Never allowing the darkness it's freedom.

I don't need thirty seconds of video to remember you
To feel love
And, if not love,
Then something
Anything but keep my heart in a glass case
Like a pinned butterfly
You see in one of those dusty old museums
Never moving.

But I don't want thirty seconds of video to remember you
My heart going giddy with excitement
Only for it to be mutilated
All over again.
Even four years later
I am not ready for that.
Not yet.

So why did I ever press record?
Read 149 times Last modified on Monday, 02 October 2017 20:23
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